Kuchipoke no Jutsu
by UmbreonGurl
Summary: Naruto messes up while trying to do the Kuchiyose no Jutsu and accidentally summons things he didn't mean to. [Slight crossover with Pokemon] [Crack]


Naruto had heard that most super strong ninja had a summon animal, and he knew that if he was going to beat Sasuke-teme and show Sakura-chan how awesome he was, he needed to get one. Since Kakashi-sensei had said that he wouldn't let Naruto sign on with his dogs, Naruto had decided that he would go get his own. That'd prove stupid lazy-bum Kakashi wrong. But of course, as usual, Naruto fucked up. Big time.

* * *

He did it! He really did it! Naruto summoned something! He wasn't quite sure what exactly he had summoned, but he had done it. That was all that mattered to Naruto. That didn't mean he wasn't curious as to what exactly he had managed to summon. He had never seen any animal quite so… yellow. Naruto would have rathered orange, but yellow would have to do. It was honestly rather cute for a summon animal. It reminded Naruto of an oversized mouse, in a way.

"What exactly are you?" he asked it.

"Pika Pika?"

It tilted his head at him. Did it not understand him? Nah, it was probably just saying what it was. A "pikapika." Naruto had never heard of any animal called a pikapika, but he was sure it'd make Sasuke-teme super jealous. Now he just had to figure out what his new pikapika could do.

"So, pikapika, what exactly do you _do_?" He poked its cheeks.

"PIKA!" It shocked him.

This thing could shoot lightning from its cheeks?! Oh yeah, this was _totally_ going to make Sasuke-teme super jealous. And Kakashi-sensei too. A lightning mouse was _so_ much better than some stupid dogs. Naruto grinned. This was going to be great.

* * *

"HEY! GUYS! GUYS!" yelled Naruto, running into the training ground excitedly. "I SUMMONED THIS SUPER COOL YELLOW THING THAT SHOOTS LIGHTNING FROM ITS CHEEKS!"

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. Naruto had actually managed to summon something? Kakashi would've thought Naruto would try for a while then give up after he failed miserably. But now, he was curious. Sasuke, on the other hand, thought Naruto was just being more of an idiot than usual. Everyone knew that unless you managed to sign on with a contract, summoning was extremely dangerous. If Naruto had managed to get the jutsu right, he probably wouldn't be there. Sasuke figured Naruto had probably just messed up the jutsu by mistake. He snorted. There was no way that idiot would actually be able to summon anything. He figured no animal would be stupid enough to let that idiot sign their contract. And Sakura? Sakura was pissed that Naruto had interrupted Sasuke-kun's training, and in turn, her watching him train.

"Dumbass," huffed Sasuke.

"YOU IDIOT! You interrupted important trai-" Sakura began to shout, before getting cut off by Kakashi.

"Why don't you show us, Naruto?" Even if Naruto failed, it would surely be entertaining.

"KUCHIPOKE NO JUTSU!" yelled Naruto, not realizing he had messed up two of the handseals and the name of the _Kuchiyose_ no Jutsu.

Sasuke snorted. Kakashi was holding in the urge to snicker. Sakura seemed unamused. But all three of their jaws dropped when the jutsu actually worked. A yellow creature had appeared in a puff of smoke

"Pika pika."

"What the fuck is _that_?" Sasuke pointed at the _thing_ that Naruto had managed to pull from… well… somewhere. He certainly knew that was no summon animal.

"It's my uh… what did you say you were again?"

"Pika pika." It replied.

"It's my pikapika! It's super strong and way better than whatever you'll be able to summon." Sakura wasn't sure whether she was seeing things. Kakashi simply figured he had drank too much the previous evening. Sasuke wasn't sure what to think. He did know that he wanted one. Anything that could spit out lightning like that would certainly be a useful tool for killing Itachi.

"Hey dumbass."

"I'm not a dumbass, asshole! Did you see how cool my pikapika is?" He picked it up.

"Show me the handseals for that jutsu."

* * *

Hiruzen Sarutobi was having a good day. He was having a good day, that is, until someone decided to let magical jutsu-spitting creatures loose around Konoha. Hiruzen wasn't sure whether he could believe the reports the ANBU were giving him until one of them flew right past his window. He sighed. He was really too old for this shit. Hiruzen knew he should have sacrificed himself instead of letting Minato do it. Certainly hell couldn't be worse than coming out of retirement to have to deal with this shit.

For now, though, he had a sneaking suspicion that Naruto had something to do with this incident. Either that, or someone must have thought it would be funny to sneak some hallucinogenics into his tobacco pipe. He really hoped it was the latter. Because he had no idea what to do about this. There was no ninja rule or protocol about magical creatures. Hiruzen decided he was done for the day. Thus, he grabbed his hat, placed it on the head of his surprised secretary, and left after saying "You're Hokage for the day, you deal with this. I'm going home."


End file.
